


Insecurity

by atinyinwonderland



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24323380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atinyinwonderland/pseuds/atinyinwonderland
Summary: You have been together for years, but does he still love you?
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Insecurity

An answer. That was what you wanted.

Hongjoong opened the door, his expression turned to surprise finding you there.

“Hey” his hand took over yours as he pulled you into his apartment. You faked a smile when he pecked your lips. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

You wondered if that would be the last one. If things ended now, would that emotionless kiss be the last one you’d share? Something fake, born out of habit. Did he even mean it?

“Come, I was finishing something. Have you eaten?”

How long would it take for him to notice? Couldn’t he see you were colder? He motioned for you to go over to the couch.

"Yes, I have. Joong, can we talk?"

"Sure, what is it?"

He sat next to you, laptop on his lap. Your tone was surprisingly calm when you finally gathered the courage to get it out: "You don't love me anymore, do you?"

Your chest felt lighter suddenly, as if those words had been weighing you down ever since the idea crossed your mind. But still, there was a knot there, in your chest. A feeling of dread at how this conversation would go.

Hongjoong looked at you in shock, abandoning whatever he was doing. "What? Why would you say that?"

"Please, Joong, be honest" you begged.

"I need you to explain where this is coming from. Did I do something?"

You sighed and looked away, eyes fixed on the floor. How could you explain it? You didn't know how to put into words that something was different, something was lacking that had previously been there, occupying a space which now you couldn't help but feel empty. You were unable to point out what went wrong, if something even had. It was the details. Small gestures that didn’t feel that warm, words that sounded like they carried no meaning anymore. The details were tearing at your heart, how could you explain that to him?

"You have done nothing wrong" your eyes found his again, a weak reassuring smile on your lips, "It's that I...I've having this weird feeling for a while, like something wasn't right, and...I don't know. I look back at how you used to be and now it's just not the same. And I'm not sure if it's you who has changed, or your feelings..." you took a deep breath, your eyes were stinging from holding back tears, his features twisted in confusion as he tried to make sense of your words. And among the confusion, hurt. You could see it in his dark eyes.

"But I do love you" he said, reaching for your hand, "I'm sorry if I haven't been paying attention lately, I've been distracted with work and..."

"It's not that. Not work or being distracted... It's like you don't see me. Right now, when I came, you didn't even notice I wasn't alright. It's like I have become a habit and being together is something you do by default, not because you're really into it." You brought his hand close to your lips and placed a kiss there, your vision now blurry. "I love you, Hongjoong. I just want to make sure you feel the same too."

"But..."

"Please" you cut him off. "Take all the time you need. Think about it, make up your mind... and when you know, do tell me."

He looked upset, like he was ready to fight you and your doubts. Like he had been wrongly accused and couldn't wait to prove you wrong. But you didn't give him a chance to respond. You kissed him softly, lips trembling and your own tears staining his cheek. His hand hooked on your neck, unwilling to let you go when you tried. He put his forehead to yours and looked fondly into your eyes.

"I will think about it, because you asked. But I love you."

"I really hope you do."


End file.
